Lessons on love

Sam's Bday

“You don’t know what love is
Til you’ve learned the meaning of the blues
Until you’ve loved a love you’ve had to lose
You don’t know what love is.”

I was listening to Kevyn Lettau’s version of this tune from her recent “What is Enough” album when it just struck me that I’ve never really learned to love till Mariel came into my life. Love for me before that was a hedonistic quest for fairytale endings, with me mainly as the beneficiary. Of course, Mariel had changed all that.

For she had shown me that love indeed is serving something greater than yourself. It means as I’ve said before, “finding one’s happiness in the happiness of another”. It’s doing good without expecting anything in return. It’s about setting aside one’s ego and also about “being firm” sometimes with those you love, when you’re sure you have only their best interest at heart. It’s about tenderness and unwavering support. It’s about planning to grow old together. Mariel was all these to me (and our daughter Samantha too). And now it’s our turn to share these lessons with others so that they do not have to one day sing songs “about- what- love- is” and have to live through regrets.

We love and miss you Mommy so much. Good Night.

(My thoughts tonight especially for dear friends Linda S, Di and Jan M. Thank you for all your loving kindness)

6 thoughts on “Lessons on love

  1. Bong,
    I know that Mariel will be very happy when she sees you and Sam enjoying life to the fullest!
    Come and visit us in Alabama–you and Sam are always welcome!

    Best regards,

  2. Thank you for the kind invitation Kuya Sonny. We will surely visit you in Alabama when we get to travel to the US probably next year. It’s never been the same since, but we just do our best to carry on through the remembrance of her love and memories. Mariel will always be with us even as we try to live “life to the fullest”.

    Wishing you, Ate Nim, Jima and Xavier all the best always.

  3. Annie Vicente

    Dearest Bong,

    My heart is starting to have that feeling again of wishful thinking (and you know what it would be wishing for, that everything would be the same as before)… but I stop myself because I know that Mariel would not want me to hide behind wishful thoughts.

    Although, I am glad to tell you that the mood is lighter, much better than last year. I know I’m getting better… which means Mariel will be happier because she knows that we’re all moving on with life… and love.

    But there is no denying, she will forever be in our hearts…

    Be strong… never doubt she’s watching over you and Sam.

    With all our love and prayers,
    Annie & Zave & kids

    PS. Please let us know your itinerary when you come visit. Hope you can come to Reno again. But if you can’t squeeze Reno in your schedule, we will adjust our schedules so we can meet you somewhere/anywhere within the West Coast.

    1. Dearest Annie,

      I still think of Mariel every single day and Sam is just about coming to terms with it all. Nevertheless, I’d be first to admit we’re still some ways to go towards “moving on”.

      We will have a simple get-together for Mariel this Sunday (the 20th), I know you will be with us too even in spirit because nothing will please her more than to have her favorite cousin, best friend and soul mate be part of the remembrance of her beautiful life.

      You knew how special she was and that nothing else can fill the gaping hole in my life that was left with her passing. Having Sam however, and seeing her grow up to be so much like her mommy had made things a little bearable until the time I can be with Mariel again.

      I promise to see you with our “Sammy” when on our next trip to your part of the world. In the meantime, know that you and your family will always be part of OUR world because we had once shared the truly beautiful person that was Mariel. I love her so much and will forever keep trying to prove myself worthy of her boundless love.

      Blessing to you all,


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