I shamelessly borrow from song titles these days, like this one from my favorite musician- John McLaughlin- above, because I’m truly at a loss for words to describe my life at the moment. And this tune comes to mind.
My days are filled with the unrelenting minutiae of everyday life, helping create the illusion of being “busy” (or as if moving forward), when all I really care and think about is being one day reunited with my Mariel. Of course, I try to live my life for our Sammy now. But no matter how hard I try to pretend that there are still more dreams waiting out there for me. My heart, I guess can only be found in another place. It seems that there’s not much left to keep me inspired in that space between nothingness and eternity. So till then, I’ll just carry on expertly filling up emptiness with “disconnecting distractions”, keeping myself preoccupied till my hopeful day comes.
I love you Mommy, I miss you so very much.