My life in a flash

If you find absolutely nothing useful with the video I posted today, I’d also be very happy. Because at least you would’ve understood a bit how my life is now. It’s one that alternates between gnawing boredom and absolute panic. Since Mariel passed away, I find myself unable to plan farther than a couple of days. I guess it’s only now creeping that her loss is one that is final and irreversible.

I find no joy in “malling” anymore. When before it was Mariel’s and my national past time, I’m absolutely unaffected now by any advertising hype (some will say maybe thats for the better). While I want to enjoy things like I used to, I seemingly cannot find enough good reasons to really want to, when the very person with whom I love to share everything with, is no longer there. Of course, I try to live my life for Sam as she’s my last remaining hope. But I just had to go out alone today January 20 and lick my wounds in Bonifacio High Street, Makati because people had reminded me it’s four months since Mariel left for God’s bosom. And time again stood still.

I miss you Mariel. I love you so much.

8 thoughts on “My life in a flash

  1. writinggb

    I’m so sorry that you are having a tough time. Of course, it’s natural that you feel empty inside. May you find more peace soon!

  2. Hi Writinggb, It’s been quite a bumpy ride these past months. I do have some good days but I’ve never been to anything like this before so I sometimes wonder where the road will take me. It does help however knowing that there are others like you on my side. Thanks again for caring, God bless you.

  3. Albert B

    Bong, it is easy to see days go by as uneventful and not purpose-full.

    Remember Dianne Reeves song “Better Days?”

    Today, I realized there should be much more to plan for and do to make lives, ours and others’, remain colorful and worth jumping out of bed every morning.

  4. Thanks again Albert as usual. A do try to make each day a “better” day than the last. It just doesn’t help to not have that one person who made it “best” each time. Take care and I hope you had a good one today.

  5. The palm trees: they look good. We could use a few of those in London.

    The mall: no, I agree with you. That is dire.

    Bad days, bad weeks, bad months – they come and go. Brighter days are just around the corner.

    Spirits up.

  6. Thanks Robert, What can I say, you’ve been through it all. I guess I just have some more living to do, for my daughter Sam and for Mariel too.
    Please tell me if you’ll a chance to check out some more “palm trees” in Manila sometime, I’d be your guide.

    All the best again, and spirits up to you too.

  7. Henry Lopez

    Reminds me of that video of a free-falling plastic bag in American Beauty. Meaningless but– so full of meanings, isn’t it?
    You felt it. And I feel for you pare.

    Good thing is I don’t think this will bother you anymore. It’s one of those many humps that you’re moving past each day. You “captured” it. You’ve conquered it.

    I hear a song playing in the background. At normal speed what might that song be?

  8. Hi Henry,

    It’s one of those Bossa things they keep playing nowadays. Suddenly, Sergio Mendes is back from the museum. What goes around, comes around. By the way it’s the view from Figaro- BHS.

    Yes, humps conquered, till the next one.



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