“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my… mother” — Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Coming home from school, I asked Sam about the little box in her school bag that had this wonderful Lincoln quote (it was a gift from her grandma). I also wanted to know if she still often thinks about her mom. She just simply nodded, probably thinking it was a rather silly question. I guess I just wanted again to find another excuse to talk about Mariel. (I’ve often felt a bit embarrassed finding myself unintentionally “appending” my beloved into many casual conversations. Friends I think do their best however to “accommodate” this habit). That was when I asked Sam further about what she thought she had “owed’ her mommy with regard to being who she was. I kidded her that I was quite sure that she had “inherited” the healthy appetite from me. She then went on to enumerate the following, as best as a young ten-year old can. ”
“Thank you mommy for”:
– “my good grades” (she believes it’s her mom and rightfully so, who had instilled in her the discipline to take school work seriously and consequently excel in it. Sam works hard at it and I see Mariel’s passion for perfection in our little Sammy too)
– “my nice skin” (Mariel did have that unbelievably flawless complexion. Fortunately too Sam got her’s and not mine)
– “my nice clothes” (I think Sam meant mommy’s fine taste in clothes. Mariel had always been a smart dresser and channeled this passion in getting Sam clothes and accessories almost weekly)
– “our nice house” (Mariel loved to make our home comfortable and beautiful. She was always taking care to decorate it specially during Christmas. I guess I just have to do my best to continue where she had left off)
Our only daughter, in time, I know will come to realize that there are so much more to be appreciated about her mommy (specially with her mom’s complete love and devotion to her). I have come to recognize more and more each day, that Sam is indeed becoming to be all the best things her mommy was.
I still miss Mariel as much as the day when she had left us for God’s garden. But it eases the pain somewhat each time I get to be with Sam. Because she is truly Mariel’s greatest gift to me, having given the best part of herself through our beloved daughter.
We thank you Mommy for your life of love. We love you!
Mariel's Garden 
Dearest Bong,
This is a beautiful Thankful post. Please NEVER ever feel embarrased about
“unintentionally “appending” my beloved into many casual conversations”
– after all it is a wonderful and endearing way of including Mariel in ongoing life.
I do the same thing all the time (about dear and much loved friends who have died) and I feel proud to keep their memories alive by doing it. Sometimes I just say: so and so would have loved it here, or such and such used to love this restaurant, or this was my dear frinds favourite flower. To live in the hearts and minds of those we love is not to die.
I am glad that Sam is so like Mariel – and no doubt as she gets a little older she will become more and more inquisitive about her beloved mother.
It’s just a thought … but maybe when you have time to spare you could buy a small and very beautiful notebook (something really special)and write down at random all the things that you can recall about Mariel. Don’t wory about the order … just write them down. carry the notebook around with you and keep adding to it wheneve you have a lovely memory to add. Write down things like her favourite: perfume, colour, book, film. Her favourite place, restaurant, food, likes and dislikes, things she admired, ambitions, her heroes – and small things like sweet little habits that she had especially relating to Sam (maybe kissing the tip of Sam’s nose etc when Sam was a tiny baby) …. because then as time passes .. and Sam grows older … and your memories dim NOT from lack of love or remembrance but just from old age … Sam can read the beautiful golden notebook about her mother whenever she misses her and feels a need. i think she would come to treasure it.
I hope I am not speaking out of order here. What do you think? Do let me know please.
Very best wishes to you and Sam as always. And kind remembrances of your beautiful wife Mariel.
I was recently in Illinois at President Lincoln’s house in Springfield (now a museum). It was an amazing experience. Lincoln lost his mother when he was very young, and it hit him hard, but he went on to do great things in his life.
Thank you for sharing Sam’s gratefulness. She’s a darling.
nice quote…i think our mother/s plays a vital role in shaping us of what we could be..they says that our mother is our first mentor…
i know Sam will appreciate her Mom even more at time pass by…Mariel did a very great job in raising your daughter Sam, i know wherever she is now Mariel is very much proud of her daughter…
Godbless
My mom was so incredibly important in my life, and in my understanding and acceptance of loss. We lost my father when I was young (10), and Mama always encouraged my brother and me to talk about him, to remember all the wonderful lessons he taught us, and to acknowledge his humanness, his vulnerabilities.
I am so blessed to have had her support and love through that awful loss. Mama didn’t censor us, and I hope you are able to speak openly forever about your beautiful Mariel. Even when my mother began dating again, she did not feel that talking about her life with Daddy was off limits. If an interested suitor couldn’t understand her close relationship with him AND that while Daddy would always be a part of her life and ours, it did not diminish her desire to live the rest of our lives to the fullest – that suitor would find himself looking for a new date – too involved in a small slice of life to manage a relationship with a young widow and her children. She was faithful to our family history, and eventually found herself attracted to her future in a new family arrangement. She did not marry again, but she LIVED a full life after Daddy passed.
Good to see you sharing, and considering all the things still to be determined in Sam’s and your futures.
Take care of the two of you,
L.