Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep


I chanced upon this poem while going through some blogs the other night. It had touched something in me, one that I’ve been struggling with this past year. While I’ve always done my best to truly believe that Mariel is in a far better place now, the “human” part of me still craves for greater certainty and more reassurance. I guess I’ve got my ANSWER now. Maybe Mariel even helped me find this one. So I’d like to share this poem with you today. Perhaps you too can find some answers in it.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep–  by Mary Frye

“Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.”

(A truly wonderful poem that has an interesting story relating to its origin that probably deserves a separate post.)

4 thoughts on “Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

  1. This is a poem I am very familiar with and love. When a dear friend of mine was dying of Cancer, I wrote to her saying all the places where I would always “find her” when I need to be close to her after her death: the bluebell woods (where we used to walk her dogs), the bunny fields (where we would marvel at the wild rabitts)- and many other paces too. I have only visited the place where her ashes were scattered once – a bleak and cold grave yard and i couldn’t feel her there. It doesn’t matter, for she is in the wind that blows, and the diamond glint of snow – she is also in the sun’s warm ray and the beautiful light at the start of each day. So dear Bong, I really do understand this poem. I am glad it can bring you comfort too.

    Warmest regards from Jan

  2. Dear Jan,

    I try to take comfort in poems such as these. My life has still not been same (I don’t know if it’s wishful thinking to expect it will ever be like it was again). I dreamt of Mariel today, which is not very often, and in it, I was able to hold and embrace her in my arms. She was “glowing” but a bit sad and I had felt how much she had missed us. But even in a dream I had somehow known that the chance meeting cannot last very long so I tried to cherish every second of it. I then woke sobbing and calling out her name.

    Thanks again for being part of our journey. Take care and God bless you.

    Warmest regards,


  3. mana

    words of love and reassurance come from the most unexpected form, like this piece seemingly talking to us point-blank. Mariel knows the loneliness and confusion of your heart and she has continuously handled it with the familiar gentleness.

    one by one, you are finding answers to questions that have been haunting you. the process of healing is long and rough, but you will get there, you will get there…

  4. Dear Mana,

    Thank you for dropping by Mariel’s Garden.

    I’m very happy that you had a chance to somehow get to know Mariel, as very few of my friends had really even met her. She was a special person who loved deeply without much fanfare and she is too beautiful to ever be forgotten.

    The healing process is indeed long and hard, but your being there makes the journey a little bit bearable.

    Take care and see you soon.

    Warmest regards,


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