Helpless in Hanoi

On April 17, 2008August 27, 2008 By Ramon B.In Flowers for life5 Comments

Just arrived last night again from Vietnam after a week-long trip to work on a launch project for an airline company there. This explains my apparent absence from the blog for sometime now. Life had simply caught up with me as I tried to keep busy on “making a living”. Yes it takes so much more effort to “make” it when the very person who inspired you and moved you to be the best you can be is no longer there. I have to remind myself often that I still have Sam to live for. But while I’d do anything for our daughter, there are just it seems some things that could never be the same. Like, enjoying watching flower vendors in Hanoi’s picturesque streets and alluring parks.

I missed Mariel as I went through some small curio shops and art galleries in Pho Hang Trong street. These were those little things we did together when we were out on trips of “exploration”. These are now the little things that I tried doing but find to be somewhat pointless and uninspiring. I made sure however I brought home her favorite “fridge magnets” to add to her collection on our trusty ref. If truth be told too, I had actually found them before to be quite unattractive. Of course today I can only look at them with fondness and longing. I may even have a clue to why Mariel had collected them. Maybe perhaps, so that someday I can look at them again and re-live our lovely memories. I now would like to use them to remind Sam what a truly wonderful person her mother was. And how I had counted myself to be so lucky to have at some time shared browsing through those little curio shops with the most BEAUTIFUL person in the world.

Mariel, I love you. And I still miss you so very, very much.

She is Gone (A poem by David Harkins)

On April 4, 2008October 20, 2013 By Ramon B.In Third Party Articles9 Comments

My friend, Gil Gonzales shared with me this poem by David Harkins. It’s so honest and true. God willing it will reach out to others too who have “lost” someone special. It gives hope to those of us who grieve that there is some way out of the darkness. That the beautiful memories and love we shared with our “lost loved ones” will live on forever.

Mommy, I know you’re smiling tonight. I love you.

“She is Gone” (Short poem by David Harkins of Silloth, Cumbria in the United Kingdom)

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn you back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

(Read more about why Mariel will forever be in our hearts here)

Mommy, I’m back

On March 31, 2008April 2, 2008 By Ramon B.In Mariel's Life4 Comments

I just got back tonight from a week-long trip to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. It was a very productive one, having accomplished some important milestones for an ongoing project there and also made a number of new friends along the way. It was “good”. However, tonight while I was waiting to be fetched from airport arrival area, it just suddenly dawned on me that for the first time Mariel wont be there anymore to take me home. For she did this without fail with every travel I made (which was quite often considering my work)

Mariel would sometimes also bring along our daughter Sam for those “special” times. And what a treat it was to be able to see the two most important persons in my life after an expectedly stressful outing. We ordinarily “grabbed a bite” after that at McDonald’s or something just to celebrate our togetherness. I imagined that Mariel looked forward to being with me again even if I ‘d been away only for a couple of days. She’d sometimes go directly from her work just to be there despite her own usually hectic work day. She’d customarily ask me how my trip went and if I had done my best to avoid eating those kinds of food that usually brought me gout. She only knew too well that as a rule I would try to “get away with it” as she would not be around to check on me. I missed those conversations so much now. Although back then I’d sometimes think of them as annoyances. You know how it is, guys. Now I only know better.

I had done my best to hide my tears tonight from the driver who had picked me up from the airport. ( Although I know I was never really good at these things. ) I truly felt so lonely at the airport arrival entrance, having again suddenly realized the great void in my life. Some will call it just “habit”, I call it simply love. For Mariel loved me enough to want to “see” even if it meant taking time away from more important things like Sam, work or catching up on a favorite book, etc., etc. I wish I had been thoughtful enough to have completely appreciated those simple moments at the airport terminal. But like many important moments in life, It’s so easy to take those for granted. I never realized that I was a bloody lucky bastard (pardon my French) to have my Mariel. Now I’m just another bloody lucky bastard crying at the airport wishing he knew then that he was the bloodiest, luckiest bastard on Earth indeed.

I love you Mommy, I’m back. I had brought home “something special” from my trip for you tonight.

Midway To Nowhere

On March 22, 2008March 22, 2008 By Ramon B.In On Grieving6 Comments

It’s been exactly six months since Mariel left for God’s garden. It’s what some would see as a midpoint in the yearlong “mourning period”. People tend to create these milestones as if we operated like mechanical clocks. I hope he wont mind, but if I may quote a friend, Robert of the price of love blog– “the calendar brings no release. New seasons, birthdays, anniversaries, family reunions, Christmas – we don’t want to see any of them, but they come round relentlessly all the same.”

I see it myself as midway to nowhere. For nothing yet has managed to fill in the gaping void that Mariel’s absence had left. She is immensely missed for the love, beauty and gentleness she had brought into our lives. Samantha and I must now try to do our best to “limp on” through the life’s uncertainties. We’ve gotten a little “better” at it these past months, but we still have a long way to go. We know however that the pain and emptiness we still feel today will probably remain with us till we can see Mommy once again.

Mariel our love, we you will forever remain in our hearts. You are the ‘compass” that we hope will someday get us out of this abyss into the light of God’s love. We love you always.

(Mariel loved this song from Nat and Natalie Cole. I wish to play this one for her tonight.)

What’s in a name?

On March 9, 2008April 7, 2008 By Ramon B.In Flowers for life, Mariel's Life6 Comments

Wikipedia defines Mariel as “a municipality and city in the La Habana Province of Cuba. It is located approximately 40 kilometers (25 mi) west of the city of Havana. . It’s the Cuban port nearest to the United States. It is also where “in 1980, some 125,000 Cubans left Mariel and went to the United States in what is known as the Mariel boatlift, when while many reached the USA, several died traveling through the ocean.” Famed American actress Mariel Hemingway was also named after this town by her also famous dad.

To many, “Mariel” would be quite simply another form of the name Mary. Of Dutch origin, it was said to mean “the perfect one” (how very apt). I’m afraid I never got around to asking her mom why she chose this name for my wife. In fact, I also did not know her as Mariel when I first got to talk to her. I actually knew her as “omni” and then “Gina” much later. (Yes, they are all her ‘names” too but I guess you have to read further in the blog to learn how this came to be)

To some, especially her siblings, cousins, nephews and nieces she was “Mar”, short for Mariel. (I guess they wanted something more endearing.) I even remember her nephews usually going to Tita Mar when they had something they wanted to ask from their own parents but were hesitant or too afraid to tell. She was their bridge, their confidant, their angel. She was “Mar” too to her most favorite cousin Annie who had spent hours with her on the phone talking about anything and everything. Mariel was always there for those who just needed to talk or plainly wanted a shoulder to cry on.

In my case, “Mariel”, among other things, meant guide and teacher. For she had made me realize that God, loved ones and family must come before self. Looking back, I feel so ashamed at my thoughtlessness then. Mariel had shown me that unconditional love was indeed possible. Not just with words, because I’ve been witness to how she had literally given up buying “things” for herself (even as she loved shopping) and instead devoted her life to unceasingly looking after the needs of our daughter and me. She was always caring. She was forever selfless and unassuming.

Then “Mariel” was “best friend” too. For we had shared everything. The ups and downs of life and raising a family. She was my greatest cheerleader. She encouraged me to explore the most “hare- brained” schemes because she believed in me, even if I myself had doubts. She was my critic too, when she saw sometimes that I may be heading towards the edge of the cliff. She’d advice me to “cut your losses” when it was very clear that I had reached a cul-de-sac. And she was always right. She was my “foil”, my teammate, the Ginger to my Fred. She made me whole and complete, that’s why I miss her so much.

Of course, Mariel or “Mommy” (as she wanted me to call her when Sam was just a baby to help her learn the word) will ALWAYS mean my one true love. My kind- hearted wife and soul mate. For while she had come unexpectedly into my life and left as suddenly, she had changed it positively forever and gave me HER greatest gift– our daughter Samantha. She was all the best things that I can only aspire to be.

I love you Mariel. You are the name that forever will be etched in my heart. Till me meet again, good night my sweet princess.

Letter to Mariel, February 29, 2008

On February 29, 2008March 14, 2008 By Ramon B.In Flowers for life, On Grieving4 Comments

Dear Mommy,

It’s been over five months now and I still miss you so badly. I promised myself not to keep count but what can I do, when I still think of you almost every minute of the day. You know I talk to you all the time and I’m very sorry to keep bothering you with my trivial issues. But I have had no one else since you left for God’s garden last September 20. And there’s so much more I wanted to say to you.

Most of all, I never had a chance to say good-bye properly. They had to let me leave the ICU at 11pm the night before and all I can do was to give you those little kisses on your feet. I was very afraid to give you ‘germs’ for I know they were giving you those immunosuppresants. Plus, I thought you really needed some rest. That’s why I can’t understand why I suddenly woke up at around 3:30 am with the very high fever and that bad case of gout. And how can I ever forget Alma (my sister) getting that fateful call at 430 am from the doctors telling her that they were administering CPR on you already. I was in shock to put it mildly and I wanted to rush down to the ICU to be with you. But I can’t even stand up. I wanted to be brave and be with you like you always wanted, but I just couldn’t walk. Was it God’s way of saving me from seeing you in such a desperate state? Alma told me later that you decided to “go” only when she told you that she will take care of Sam. And she has really delivered on that promise to this day. She truly loves Sam like her own but I still weep knowing Sam can no longer have your embrace. (It hurts now so much just thinking about this, Mommy. Please help me finish this post, it’s too painful.) And yes, I remember how peaceful you were when I was finally able to go down to see you (and kissed you once more) that day.

Sam misses you too very much, Mommy. But she would not talk about it much. She takes after you. But I guess you already know that. By the way, do you want me to bring her to the salon for a haircut? We’ve had some “spirited discussions” about getting it some days ago. Although I can’t believe how much she is starting to look like you, specially with the longer hair. She is as beautiful as I’ve always remembered you. And she has your “flawless” skin too. Don’t worry though as she is fine and is generally starting to “recover” from that little dip with her grades. She’s still number one in her class (I know you’ll hate me for writing this), that’s because she really takes after her smart and beautiful mom.I also got your little message the other time. I know you’re really always there for me, especially when I get those usual “setbacks’ at work. I’m still not 100% but I do try my very best for you. I know you want me to succeed in life for our daughter Sam and I promise not to fail you. (Even if it’s the last thing I do before my own exit) I still can’t do much traveling these days, although I really think I need to do it so I wont miss any of those opportunities in Thailand and Vietnam. Mama promised meanwhile to look after Sam whenever I’m away. Besides, school’s out in a few weeks. Don’t worry Mommy, it will just be for a couple of days at a time. I vow to make you proud of me again.

It’s kinda late and I also know you want me to go to sleep now. I will write again soon but then I hear you in my head all the time, so you know where to reach me (hehehe). Also, please keep “reminding” me if I sometimes “go astray”. After all, you’re my Guardian Angel now. And I ‘m very happy because not very many people get to call their angels by their first name. I miss you Mommy. Please stay “close” to me always. I also really look forward to that time when I can be with you again, “to love and to hold” forever. I love you so very, very much.

Good night Mommy.

With all my love,

Bong

P.S. Here’s a song I thought you might enjoy listening to before you sleep, ‘love you.

We love you Mommy always!

On February 21, 2008February 23, 2008 By Ramon B.In Flowers for life, Mariel's Life9 Comments

“Love is repaid by love alone” — St. Therese of the Child Jesus

I was with my daughter, Sam last night helping her with her “schoolwork’ when I came across this passage from the life of St. Therese of Liseux . And I had to tell her how this is something she must remember if she truly loved her mom. But that’s getting ahead of the story. So let me first describe how I got here.

You see, I have been agonizing these past few days over Mariel’s fate. I felt so sorry for her and can’t help but have feelings of deep regret over her unexpected passing. She was after all the one who kept a healthier lifestyle. She was even the better person. I was the one in line to go, having racked up all the bad medical stats over the years. I was the one whose passing would have had minimal impact on our family life. I would have gladly traded places anytime. I felt so bad. But the one that really hurt the most was that I never really got to say good-bye to her like I would have wanted. Yes, we did talk for days on end during her illness and I was the only one she wanted beside her 24/7. I was at times so physically and emotionally drained. I must even admit I wanted to”escape” from hospital- duty on some days. But then, I never saw it coming. I never really considered that she may possibly lose the battle. Not even when I was told that we may have to transfer to the ICU after just a week from being “admitted”.

I was prepared to fight on and stay in the hospital for as long as it took. But never once did I consider that things may turn out the way it did. I may not even be too sure that Mariel did either. Although looking back, I sensed a certain amount of “resignation” from Mariel during those last days. In fact, she looked to me as very brave and very in-control, that’s why I was never really worried. I remember her putting back her own ventilator tube after it once got “detached’ . My response was to jump up and down like a scared chicken while calling on the nurse.

Mariel was tough and from my perspective, she was the one even taking care of me.There was this time when I had asked her if she felt all right (stupid me) with all her tubes and needles at the ICU. And she had motioned to me to get a “whiteboard”. ( By now, she was already “intubated”, hooked to a respirator and thus cannot speak. So I had improvised this board and got her to scribble notes and instructions to me) At this point, she had chosen to write instead, “please pay the car insurance, its due tomorrow”. And God, I even found out later that she had been paying our household and utility bills through phone banking from her hospital bed. She was dutiful as she was loving. And she knew she had to take care of her “big baby”.

I was “happy” though to have told her the following as a last message through our whiteboard. I had found this one later on the hospital floor after it was “all over”. I will now keep it “preserved” for as long as I live. As there is nothing else in this world that I would have wanted her to know more than this one.

But as tears flowed again last night while doing Sam’s homework and having chanced upon these words from St. Therese, I had to remind myself and Sam that the only way for us to truly show our love to ‘Mommy” was to learn to now love back. As only love can repay the love we had received.To love and honor her memory. To love all the beautiful lessons she had shared with us. To love all the people and things she had cared for in life. To love and celebrate everything she stood for– love of family and friends, dutiful love… unconditional love.

We love you Mommy, now and forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Mommy

On February 14, 2008February 14, 2012 By Ramon B.In In Mariel's Words, Mariel's Life11 Comments

“Things are not always perfect between us, but you’re still the only valentine for me… Dear Daddy, Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you, Mariel”

And so goes my last Valentine card from my love– Mariel. It was one I discovered serendipitously while running through her things after her passing. She kept every little memento between us, and now I can only treasure this one for as long as I live. I do believe it was Mariel reaching out across time and space to me.

Mariel was never overly sentimental about anything, or at least she did not display her feelings for the world to see, unlike me. Oftentimes, instead of blurting out “i- love- yous”, she would much rather remind me about watching my diet , lest I get another one of my gout attacks, or buy me another nice shirt. That was her way of telling me how much she cared for me, And that was my wife Mariel’s way of showing, how deeply she had loved me. I’m sure she knew too how much I loved her deeply. And it goes without saying that she will always be my one true valentine.

By the way, Sam and I have some special cards for you today Mommy, be sure to read them please. And always remember that you will forever be in our hearts. And that we longingly wait for the day that we can be all together again, and share our love through eternity. We love you so very, very, very much. Happy Valentine’s Day, Mommy.

Too Beautiful To Forget

On February 4, 2008February 15, 2008 By Ramon B.In On Grieving8 Comments

It’s February the month of love. And I’m again starting to get anxious on the expected coming of Valentine’s day. Because I remember it was the special time when Mariel never failed to give me those heartwarming little gifts and thoughtful cards. I will miss them so much. But more on that in my next posts.

Tonight, I just wanted to get it finally off my chest. You see I’ve been noticing “visits” to the blog tapering off a bit. Yes, I get to see everyday how many actually read the blog articles in Mariel’s Garden and I just can’t help but think if people, especially friends and family have started to “forget”Mariel. I know most people have to get on with their lives and do not necessarily live to read about my meanderings. I know too how life’s challenges have oftentimes a way of viscerally demanding urgency and attention. But could this be what I had feared all along? That maybe someday no one will care enough to remember the beautiful, loving and generous person that was Mariel. Please don’t get me wrong. I do not take it against anyone not visiting Mariel’s Garden. But I just had to ask if life could really just be so. When lovely memories of a person, special as she was, will eventually just evaporate in the haze of life’s here and now. I hope not. Because that thought can really be depressing. Or is it just my bad writing?

Nonetheless, I hope to carry on until the ink just simply runs dry or until when I do finally get that “golden ticket” to meet my love once more.

I love you Mariel. And to you all, a peaceful and good night.

To Bong and Sam

On January 27, 2008January 27, 2008 By Ramon B.In Friends' stories1 Comment

TO BONG AND SAM By Henry Lopez

I talked to Bong last night. The grief that Bong showed as well as that of what I learned of Sam’s is truly heartrending. The agony that Bong and Mariel went through during those harrowing three weeks seem far, far worse than the plight of that proverbial Kafka character. The unfolding of events was just too surreal and staggering. Pardon the drama. I just found it truly that. I, myself, have been in and going through similar ordeals that I found myself totally immersed in Bong’s emotion. Life can be cruel at times. To some, constantly that one wonders how much of it can one take.

But there seems to be something there gleaming behind the cracks of the ruins. And that I thought was something very plain, very simple– very clear. It’s love. Mariel’s remarkable devotion to Bong and Sam– love. Sam’s irrepressible sense of loss– love. Bong dedication to extolling the memories of Mariel– love. And during the moments leading to that cruel day, love may have been just the sole impetus that made the family push on. At the risk of sounding like a Hallmark card, I dare say that love is what is going to lift Bong and Sam up and out of this painful time in their lives.

Bong, you know what I mean. Continue to love Mariel and listen to what she maybe telling you. Your bond is strong that she will continue to speak to you from the past as you confront situations day by day and in so many other ways yet to be revealed in the future.

Mariel’s Garden will live forever. It is a magnificent tribute to Mariel and her life. It is a tribute to you too, Bong. To your eternal love for her that transcends all barriers, even death. Mariel’s Garden simply breathes love. But it won’t be the last garden you’ll build in your life. If you haven’t yet noticed, you have started a new one. It is Sam. Sam will now be your new garden. The new celebration of your love. Your’s and Mariel’s. Sam is going to be BONG’S AND MARIEL’S GARDEN.

Mariel will always be there by your side helping you. And you know what great inspiration that is. Nurture Sam. Nourish her with love and care. And she will bloom much richer than all the flowers in any garden on earth. Perhaps, this is the garden that would bring eternal joy to Mariel.

We, your friends, will always be there for you, Bong. At any time you’ll need us, we will be willing tillers of your gardens too.

Bless you, pare. Give our love to Sam.

Mariel’s drive time playlist

On January 27, 2008August 19, 2008 By Ramon B.In Mariel's Life, On GrievingLeave a comment

The past few days were indeed rough patches. I missed Mariel so badly that I had some difficulty focusing at work. She still is after all my life’s only “anchor” and nothing would seems worthwhile without being able to share it with her. Good things, bad things only made any sense if she was there with me. And I loved her so much, more than life itself.But matters eased off a bit today though. I guess it helped that she had “told” me something I needed to hear, more so now that my life’s in the doldrums (I’d blog about this more in days to come, when I’m ready). I felt a little better tonight enough to open her favorite CD music wallet in our car. It’s a first. I could not attempt to play any of her familiar songs since she passed away because they’d open floodgates of memories. Much more than I can handle.

Mariel listened to music mainly to relax and sometimes to help focus at work. Her musical tastes were truly eclectic. Ranging from Classical symphonies to Broadway to Jazz standards and late 70’s disco. She welcomed them all. She adored Sinatra and mellowed Rod Stewart. She listened to Astrud, Satchmo, Ella, but enjoyed Hagabis, Apo Hiking Soceity, Hotdog and Cinderella too. She often asked me to make her song compilations for her notebook computer or mobile phone music player. She was constantly surrounded by beautiful music which I surmised rubbed into our daughter Sam, who now shows great musical abilities. In fact, she would even try to appreciate my own somewhat “unique” musical tastes, let alone tolerate the raucity on my electric guitar noodling. That’s why she’s an angel, nothing of my “noise” fazed her.

Tonight I randomly pulled out one of her compilations, played it on the car’s CD changer and just decided to “chill” while driving home tonight. I know Mariel was with me, hugging me and telling everything will be all right.’Love you Mommy.( Here’s “Of All the Things” by Dennis Lambert from Mariel’s playlist. This one contains only pictures, but the music should be good enough because it speaks of finding one’s true love)

My life in a flash

On January 22, 2008August 14, 2008 By Ramon B.In On Grieving8 Comments

If you find absolutely nothing useful with the video I posted today, I’d also be very happy. Because at least you would’ve understood a bit how my life is now. It’s one that alternates between gnawing boredom and absolute panic. Since Mariel passed away, I find myself unable to plan farther than a couple of days. I guess it’s only now creeping that her loss is one that is final and irreversible.

I find no joy in “malling” anymore. When before it was Mariel’s and my national past time, I’m absolutely unaffected now by any advertising hype (some will say maybe thats for the better). While I want to enjoy things like I used to, I seemingly cannot find enough good reasons to really want to, when the very person with whom I love to share everything with, is no longer there. Of course, I try to live my life for Sam as she’s my last remaining hope. But I just had to go out alone today January 20 and lick my wounds in Bonifacio High Street, Makati because people had reminded me it’s four months since Mariel left for God’s bosom. And time again stood still.

I miss you Mariel. I love you so much.

Sam at Avilon

On January 14, 2008February 8, 2008 By Ramon B.In On Grieving, SamanthaLeave a comment

It’s been another week and I can’t really say this one has been much different from the others. Days seem to just whiz by when you’re grieving. Nothing makes it exciting even with Terrell Owens hysterics or Britney breakdowns in the news. Of course some days are better than others, but the little glimmer of sunshine you get, if any, are plainly unremarkable. And I can’t seem to get that “old” joy back into my life because Mariel’s not there anymore to share it with me. So at times, I just try to imagine going out on carefree adventures with Mariel and Sam as we would usually do on Sunday afternoons. And that’s exactly what I did in the last one. Oh, to be our family once again.Sam and I went to check out the new Avilon Ark in Ortigas. I was a far cry from the real deal in Montalban, but ‘ey it’s 15 minutes from where we live so I shouldn’t complain. It’s of course a petting zoo so the usual suspects are there. Miniature horses, exotic birds and certainly highly paid rabbits who get to eat from you for a fee. Sam, as some of you know, loves animals but only to look at from a distance. Yes, she was even scared of the nosy Ringneck Hens lurking around. But she had fun overall because it was definitely different from the accustomed mall fare. Mariel would have enjoyed the day with us. It would’ve been as always another opportunity to bond with just the three of us. And, I guess that it really may have been. I knew we were a family again at Avilon.Let me share some snapshots on January 13 at Avilon Ark with Sam, me and surely, Mariel too.

Phuket Revisited

On January 8, 2008October 11, 2015 By Ramon B.In Flowers for life, Mariel's Life, On Grieving1 Comment

Today being January 8, I thought that I might share some photos from our lovely Phuket, Thailand wedding some ten years ago. On this day we were married in a memorable Catholic ceremony midst the pristinely beautiful Promthep Cape near Nai Harn Beach. We had our civil wedding vows in the Philippines a few days back, then flew to Thailand for this one. It was something that was surely made in Heaven. Mariel and I had our whole life ahead of us… and had many, many dreams.

And I now promise to Mariel that I will try till my own last breath, to fulfill most of them for her and Samantha. I hope I can make her proud on that day that we again meet. When once more I can have her “to love and to cherish”… forever. I love you Mommy.

Sundays with Sam

On January 6, 2008January 7, 2008 By Ramon B.In Mariel's Life, On Grieving, Samantha6 Comments

It’s a new year but my heart’s left unstuck in the one before. I still miss Mariel very badly. I’ve made some progress though in the grief front. I know this is what my friends and family would like to hear. But I must admit it’s a day to day thing and I still get breathing problems when I start to remember Mariel and my hospital stay at UST. But let’s not get into that because I know that’s not what Mariel wants now. And that’s actually how I try to deal with the “pain” these days– doing what Mariel wants. Or more precisely doing things that I know will please or make Mariel happy. It’s the only way I can figure easing off the gaping wound in my heart.

For starters, I made sure to bring Sam to Holy Mass today. Mariel had always tried to make Sam understand the value of the Sunday celebration. Sometimes that included dragging me to the service too. Well today I’m proud to announce that she did not have to persuade me to wake up early for my weekly religious duty. I’m happy to go with Sam because I know that is what would have pleased Mariel. Of course, I know too that Mariel has helped save my soul in the process. That’s why she’s my angel now.

I also miss asking Mariel out to try some new, exotic restaurant. So I asked Sam to do that with me today. I was glad she said yes. We both tried to recall our happier times with Mommy while sharing some Vietnamese noodles at Pho24 at the Rockwell mall. Sam liked the Chicken Pho version but skipped adding the mint leaves. I did manage to let her try some fresh bean sprouts though midst my gulping down another cup of Vietnamese coffee. It was happy Sundays again… at least for some moments.

We still both miss Mommy. We’ll just try however to do something “for her” each time we start to feel the hurt return. As a little tribute or even as a way of thanking her for sharing with us her wonderful life of love. Love you Mommy!

Mariel's Garden

Tag: love